Main Kabhi Batlata Nahin
Par Andhere Se Darta Hoon Main Maa
Yun To Main,Dikhlata Nahin
Teri Parwaah Karta Hoon Main Maa
Tujhe Sab Hain Pata, Hain Na Maa
Tujhe Sab Hain Pata,,Meri Maa

Bheed Mein Yun Na Chodo Mujhe
Ghar Laut Ke Bhi Aa Naa Paoon Maa
Bhej Na Itna Door Mujkko Tu
Yaad Bhi Tujhko Aa Naa Paoon Maa
Kya Itna Bura Hoon Main Maa
Kya Itna Bura Meri Maa

Jab Bhi Kabhi Papa Mujhe
Jo Zor Se Jhoola Jhulate Hain Maa
Meri Nazar Dhoondhe Tujhe
Sochu Yahi Tu Aa Ke Thaamegi Maa

Unse Main Yeh Kehta Nahin
Par Main Seham Jaata Hoon Maa
Chehre Pe Aana Deta Nahin
Dil Hi Dil Mein Ghabraata Hoon Maa
Tujhe Sab Hai Pata Hai Naa Maa
Tujhe Sab Hai Pata Meri Maa

Main Kabhi Batlata Nahin
Par Andhere Se Darta Hoon Main Maa
Yun To Main,Dikhlata Nahin
Teri Parwaah Karta Hoon Main Maa
Tujhe Sab Hain Pata, Hain Na Maa
Tujhe Sab Hain Pata,,Meri Maa

A friend’s status message on gtalk…..

love your job and not your company because you never know when your company will stop loving you. In the same lines, love yourself and your family needs more than the company’s needs. Companies can keep coming and going; family will always remain the same. Make money for yourself first and simultaneously make money for the company, not the other way around

Rohit

Its been a while since I logged into wordpress.In fact it took me 3 attempts to remember my password.

Life has moved at its own pace, has had its highs and lows, the roller coaster is chugging along.

I almost wrote a post which was sad and pensive… the week has not been good would have been my excuse had someone asked me later. While punching on the keyboard, I happened to recollect a small incident my mom had told me some moons back.

Couple of months back, on a lazy weekend, my parents were on a household clean up mission. They were scouting entire household (they are in Pune) to spot items which no longer look necessary and dispose them off to give a fresh feel to the house (?) Mom did find some no-longer-required stuff and decided to pass it on to the maid (as is a common practice in Indian households).

In the evening when mom handed over the stuff to her, the maid in a very shy manner asked her for an advance on next month’s wage. My mom probed her as to why does she need the money. The maid disclosed that both of her younger brothers are in school , 8th and 10th std. In Pune after 10th , the schools merge into colleges (or inter – colleges) and you need to fill up forms of different colleges to get admission in 11th std. So she needed money to fill up the forms of 4-5 different colleges to ensure that he gets an admission in some decent place. When mom further probed her as to how much did he score in the board (maharashtra board) she said he did reasonably well… 60 odd percentage. Then the maid added (and if my mom is to be believed , in a rather philosophical tone), “bibiji humein maloom hai ki wo aise doctor/ engineer to nahin ban sakta hai. Par humare bas mein jo hai wo to karwa hi denge. Kahin courier compnay ya sabun /tel ki company mein ho jayega to hum khush ho jayenge. Humare koi bhaut bade sapne nahin hain, bas kuchh ummeedein hain, wohi puri karna chahte hain“.

I always used to wonder what lies beyond dreams. I think I got my answer. Hope.

All of us go through daily trials and tribulations, crests and troughs just to realise our dreams. And on most (if not all) occasions we know that we will not be able to realise our dreams but still be slog like crazy, push ourselves to the limit in the hope that someday things will be fine.

I had also dreamt that my life will unfold in a certain fashion, certain things will happen post the milestones and life will be good.

Now I know its not going to be like it. It is not at all going to be like what I dreamt it to be. But I still hope that I will be able to manage it. Beyond dreams lies hope.

There is a new song on TV these days…. I always lose myself a bit when I listen to it, especially the first stanza…

Thode bheege bheege se Thode Lamhe
Hum.. Kal Se Soye Woye To Kam hai hum..
Thode bheege bheege se Thode Lamhe..
Hum.. Kal Se Soye Woye To Kam hai hum..

Dil Ne Kaisi Harkat ki hai
Pehli baar Mohabbat ki Hai
Aakhiri baar
Mohabbat ki Hai
Pehli baar…. Mohabbat Ki Hai..
Aakhiri Baar…
Mohabbat ki Hai..

good night

rohit

PS: mom did pay the maid the fees for all the forms. Sadly mom and dad are no longer at the same place so they dont know if the guy got admission to some college. I , with all my heart, pray that he did get admission at some good place.

I have been thinking quite  a bit about the last two years of professional life (which got completed last month on 14th) during my free time (not that I have much of it these days but still…)

To say that I have had an exceptional career so far will be far from the truth. At the same time, to say that I have had a screwed up career will be perhaps the biggest lie I could tell myself to get some emotional self pity (I still have a good job). Two years and three companies (Asian Paints, Milagrow, PwC) have taught me a lot many things which I believe I would have missed had I decided to stick to a single company.

No, I will not start narrating all my ‘learnings’ here but will simply recount the 3 ‘top of the mind’ ones. These may not be the best learnings or the most important ones or the most impactful ones. But the fact that they are right now hovering on top of my mind perhaps make them easy to recall and write.

1) We should try hard not to personalize the professional differences as far as possible. Many people I know are good to share a coffee with in the evening but disaster to work with. That doesnt necessary mean that we should hold a vindictive grudge against them all the time. The best way (and the toughest too) is to simply laugh and move on as there are better things to do. Of course this holds true only if this can be done without making a complete surrender of self respect.

2) We should try not to unload the emotional baggage of our professional failures/issues/challenges on our near and dear ones like a nuclear bomb. Most of the time your parents/wife/fiancee/friends etc have strong confidence in you and such an outburst may hurt more than simply feelings. If you really want to talk about issues (and talk you should) do it slowly and with reasonable emotional maturity keeping in mind that problems will remain your best friends till you dont start looking for solutions.

3) Even in the worst of conditions , always believe that it will be ok tomorrow and strive diligently today to ensure that better tomorrow.

4) I know I said only 3 bullets… thats like a typical consultant… deliver more than you promise . Respect yourself a lot. Everyday. This is on most occassions the best way to fight the demons inside and outside your head.

I dont think that I have been following these in totality but would definitely like to do so as I mature as a professional.

 

rohit

nice song from upcoming movie Sikandar…. Nice lyrics after a reasonably long time… inspiring in some manner…. wishful thinking in some other… a good song to listen in evening with lights off and amplifier on ….

Gulon mein rang bhare
Baad-e-naubahaar chale
Chale bhi aao.. ke gulshan ka.. karobar chale (2)

Khwabon ka din hai.. dekho hawayein
Suna rahi hai khushiyon ki dastaan
Main choom loonga.. baahein uthaakar
Khwahishon ka neela neela aasmaan
Jaane kahaan yeh.. baadal chale hai
Kiss aur boondon.. ki mehfilein hai
Bheegi hai rooh meri.. kaisa yeh khumaar chale
Chale bhi aao.. ke gulshan ka.. karobar chale

Gulon mein rang bhare
Baad-e-naubahaar chale
Chale bhi aao.. ke gulshan ka.. karobar chale
Humne suna hai.. chhote se haathon mein
Chaahe to samaaye.. saara jahaan
Hatheliyon mein.. thaame hai
Hamaare.. buzurgon ki nayi dua
Hum hai sikandar.. hum shehzaade
Chhote kadam hai.. bade hai iraade
Buri nazar se kaho.. hum nazar uthaar chale
Chale bhi aao.. ke gulshan ka.. karobar chale

Gulon mein rang bhare
Baad-e-naubahaar chale
Chale bhi aao.. ke gulshan ka.. karobar chale

 

rohit

PS: BTW I got engaged last month. That should to some extent explain my absence from the blog

I still remember that night very vividly as if it was just yesterday. It 4th May, 2008 and I was on my way back from Mumbai to Delhi.

Delhi was being ravaged by an exceptionally menacing dust storm with winds knocking down more than mere trees. The plane was being tossed across the sky like a paper boat in rain water streams. Frequent lightening and 3 failed attempts of descend wasn’t helping matters either.

I believe almost 90 % of people on borad had sub-consciously visualised their last rites. I , kept toggling between the 90 % and 10 % with each sudden drop and gain of altitude.

I picked up the newspaper lying in the pocked of front seat to distract myself from any negative thoughts. Also I thought that if I have to go,  I will go a learned man.

The first page I opened was the editorial page, which carried a quote on the top left hand corner. The quote, that fateful night read…

Accept that on some days you are the pigeon and some days the statue.

As they say, the truth of the univerese is revealed to you in a fraction of a moment, the moment when the universe decides to play a little game with you.

 

rohit

In all probability, I will be going over to Pune to be with my parents this weekend. The mere thoughts (and action) have made me emotionally rich (and financially poor ). I am going home. So I told my friends ” I am going home this weekend”.

Then while leaving office today (or was it tonight ? hmmmph) I told my boss that now I will be pushing off to home. While driving I was contemplating on the concept of ‘home’. I call my single room-exorbitantly priced- acco as home. I also use the same expression for my parent’s place in Pune. In fact, even when we were in Delhi, we had shifted 4 different rented accos and I called each one of them ‘home’. Multiplicity ?

These thoughts were doing rounds at the back of my head as I was browsing through some of my older (read emotionally charged- I will change the world tonight- I am a very nice guy who was cheated by the world) posts. I came across a post where I had tried to decipher expressions  like aggression, home and love. I know, ostensibly unrelated. No wonder the post was titled ‘confused’.

In that post, I had typed some of my thoughts on what I believe a home is or what it should be.

2) Home. Ppl tell me a great home is the one which has italian marble flooring, split AC in rooms, rugs from God knows where, a showcase full of expensive and delicate items. Being raised mostly in rented apartments, I still cant figure out how it “feels” to own a house. But my $0.02 is that while all these may make a wonderful (and expensive) house it takes more than this ostentatious display of wealth to make a home. A home needs to make the child feel protected… it needs to make the wife feel secure…. it needs to make the husband feel assured… it needs to make the family feel proud. It needs 40 % of heart, 40 % of soul, 5 % of courage, 5 % of laughter, 4 % of tears, 3 % of ugly sketches on the living room walls and 3 % of “welcome” sign on the main gate. I am no expert so I amy be wrong here…. but I guess I believe at least this much.

Its been more than an year since I wrote that piece of emotion laced and vocabular-ly challenged post, a rather tumultuous year.

I guess this is still how I can best describe a home.

You never change the way you are fundamentally.

rohit

आँखों के झरोखे , कुछ गहरे से कुछ अकेले से

धड़कन की रफ्तारें, कुछ अधूरी सी कुछ रूकती सी

शायद तुमसे दूरी बढा लेने की देते ये मुझे सजा हैं

इन्हें शायद नहीं पता है , दूरियां नहीं बढ़ी , बढे तो हैं फासले

Rohit

PS :

Watchmen.

Must Watch.

poignancy guaranteed.

I heard a joke once: Man goes to doctor. Says he’s depressed. Says life is harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world. Doctor says, “Treatment is simple. The great clown Pagliacci is in town tonight. Go see him. That should pick you up.” Man bursts into tears. Says, “But doctor… I am Pagliacci.” Good joke. Everybody laugh. Roll on snare drum. Curtains.

rohit

ankahi si baaton ka

jati si shaam ka

bheegi si dhoop ka

dhalti si thand ka

shauq hai….

parindon si oonchai ka

geeli si barish ka

muskurati si hansi ka

machalti si fidrat ka

shauq hai…

gaati si chidiyon ka

aadhi si kahani ka

poori si muhabbat ka

nayi si ek subah ka, shauq hai…

rohit